I See You Tonight

I saw you tonight
walked along the city street on the sidewalks
you brought your umbrella but you wet yourself
under the pouring rain, under the city lamp
fading out while shining your tears

you wear your headphones but you set it loudspeaker
you bring your umbrella but you sink yourself

there was a minute,
I saw you blushed, you smiled
all red, just like a cherry blossom
but you cried . . . .

it's hard to guess, but I'm completely sure it's a complicated feeling
about the boys and girls nowadays
not exactly in the right place
like a virgin, who ran out of cigarettes

Tanpa Sila

mereka seenaknya memanjat atap gedung kami
memata-matai kami yang sedang menuntut ilmu
menutup jalan dengan keinginan membalas dendam
menghalangi jalur dengan kata-kata kotor mereka

mata mereka dibutakan oleh kemilauan berlian
hanya melihat kenyataan melalui sebuah lensa
menyebarkan berita palsu untuk menjelekkan nama kami
membuat opini sendiri untuk mengisi perut mereka

mereka tidak boleh dan tidak akan merebut tanah kami, harga diri kami
kami bukan yang memulainya, namun kami yang akan mengakhirinya

mereka mengabaikan perintah Tuhan untuk saling mengasihi
menunjukkan bahwa mereka manusia yang biadab, bukan beradab
memecah-belahkan kalimat Bhineka Tunggal Ika
memecahkan masalah dengan kepalan tangan, bukan musyawarah
membuat keadilan mereka sendiri di bawah bayang-bayang seseorang

mereka tidak mengamalkan kelima dasar negara Indonesia

Ayah

mungkin hal-hal berikut aneh bagi sebagian orang
atau saja semua ini dialami atau tidak dialami orang lain
aku tak perlu simpati ataupun empati
hanya saja aku tak tahu harus kemana lagi harus dilampiaskan

ini kisah tentang seorang ayah....

ketika ayah kalian mengajarkan untuk bersabar,
beliau menunjukkan bahwa kata-kata kasar adalah santapan sehari-hari

ketika ayah kalian mengajarkan untuk berprasangka baik,
beliau menunjukkan bahwa kita harus menuduh sebelum bertanya

ketika ayah kalian mengajarkan untuk tersenyum,
apa yang membuat senyum beliau tertahan setiap hari?

ketika ayah kalian memanjakan kalian hingga sekarang,
apakah memang pantas, atau salah bila yang kuterima adalah ancaman pukulan?

ketika ayah kalian tertawa bersama kalian,
bentakan-bentakan yang beliau lancarkan ke kedua telinga ini sudah kebal

ketika ayah kalian berkata "jangan pernah menjadi egois!",
beliau tak pernah berkata demikian, bahkan terwariskan dalam darah ini

ketika ayah kalian menyanyikan lagu untuk kalian,
ketika ayah kalian tertawa bersama kalian,
aku dan beliau beradu teriak dan bentakan

sekarang aku tahu darimana sebagian sifat gelapku tercipta

terima kasih, ayah.

Maybe Tomorrow

hold it against us, don't have to be so rush
no matter how long, no matter how hard you try
chances will come, chances won't avoid us
don't keep your head down, I'll come running to take you fly

every sleep is a medicine
every wake up is a cure from yesterday
every sunshine leads your day
and every moonlight leads your night

maybe tomorrow life's better
maybe tomorrow the world may smile with you
maybe tomorrow your sorrow would be gone
maybe tomorrow everything fades away

no need to regret, no need to be disappointed, no need to cry.
There's Always Tomorrow

The Taste Of Water

a lonely soul has its own roof

block the way of cigarette smoke

when the television feels not much friendly

but you rush and have it on the line

does it really worth it?
why couldn't we make it?
too hard to be admit
a target to be hit

so many compliment, you said
can't stand it anymore, you said
neither do I

but I try to fix everything in the right place
without seeing your face, at all

they found and created a wonderful six sided box
which accompanying us through boring times
now I can barely feel the taste of water
even until we could blow the wind again later

kata; maaf.

maaf itu bukannya sesuatu yang dikatakan ketika seseorang menyesali perbuatannya?

dan menyesal itu,

bukannya berarti tidak akan melakukannya lagi untuk kedua kali, ketiga kali, dan seterusnya?

bila mereka meminta maaf,
dan melakukannya lagi di kemudian hari,

bukankah itu bukan suatu permintaan maaf?

maaf, aku akan melakukannya lagi.

Chapter III -Another Yard-

Chapter III -Another Yard-

-------25 July, 2012. today Carlo and some others are being graduated. they go to the different schools but they always assemble in the same place, this field. I got good pictures today, from they joy and happy faces. just like a daily habit, after I finished my work, we play soccer. I don't know how, but I'm at my best at taking sport photos. hope someday I'm good at taking photos of everything. the next day, after playing soccer, we eat, talk and laugh at Tagliatelle Bella. of course, I'm the one who cook the whole meals. "attention, everyone! I wanna say something for you guys. first of all I just want to thank to you guys to lead my best days in Venice, in Italy. I can never enjoy my days here if Carlo didn't invite me to the field, so thanks to you guys. it was very felicitating 3 months here. I got a very meaningful lesson about friendship. and also good pictures too." "what is it? it just sounds like a farewell, chie." "yep Carlo, that's what I'm trying to say. I'm gonna take another yard across the sea to continue my trip."
-------Saturday, I arrived at the airport at 9.00 am I have my flight at 10.00. everybody I have in Italy is there. Alfonso with his employees and Carlo with the others. "so where are you going, chie?" Carlo asks. "well, it's France. I always wanted to go there and finally it comes true today." "well, good luck then." "thanks. oh by the way, this is your shirt, Carlo. thanks for let me borrow it." "ah it's not a big problem, even better, you can have it." "really?" "yeah, we got hundreds of it here. take it as a gift from us here." "well thank you, Carlo. I don't know how to show my thanks to you. and Alfonso, should I give my apron back to you?" "hahaha. not necessary, piccoli. you are one of the best chef I ever had." "oh Richie, here's the menu I have copy for you. in case you forgot how to make those dishes." "thanks, Elario, Alfonso, Tagliatelle Bella. well I should be going and you guys have to go back to your routines, guys." as I walk along the path to the departure lounge, they shout "BYE CHIEEE, BUONA VORTUNA E DIO VI BENEDICA!!!" it means 'good luck and god bless' I smile brightly and gave them a waving hand. I finally got in to my plane at 10.00 the memories in Venice, even if it's not too long, spinning around my head and accompany me to sleep. bye Venice.
-------as soon as I arrive at Charlie de Gaulle airport in Paris, I got a taxi and go to the tower of love, Eiffel Tower. I came out from the taxi, pay it, told the driver to stay awhile, and breath heavily in front of the Eiffel Tower. I told the taxi driver to take a picture of me. I know this day will come. Kevin was the one who made me believe. but a thing that saddening is, there's no Kevin in my picture here. Evian, the taxi driver told me about the tower and everything he knows until I arrive at my lodge. on the way to the lodge what I see is romance. yes, here I am, in the city where break ups rarely found, the city where parents rather give their kids money for dating than for their fun, the city of romance, the city of love, Paris. just like Venice, here in Paris is absolutely less pollution than in Jakarta. they prefer travel around with bikes, subway trains, or electric-powered-vehicles. I stay at a very homie lodging. it feels just like my own house. it's not too big, actually. just have 2 floors and 10 rooms.
-------28 July 2012, I wake up this morning and going to search for a job. just after take a bath, I open the door and at the same time what I see across my room is a pretty girl who instantly look away and go through the door. I wonder why she did that and I realize I stared at her for hours, err... maybe not that long, just a phrase. but whatever, I go out from the lodge and search for a job. it's a tough decision for jobs here. and one thing is, I don't wanna be a salary man! this is a hard day to search a job, and I didn't realize it's 7.00 pm already and I haven't got any job. I'm tired. I buy a glass of cappuccino and sit on a chair on the bridge near the lodge.then I lit a cigarette and turn on my camera. the bridge is beautiful. the fountain behind the bridge completing the scenery. what I see around the bridge is couples, no matter how old they are, what profession they are, what nationality they are. "garcon, vous avez un match?" "wha? oh oui, ici." suddenly a 50's man come to me and ask for a match. luckily, I learned France and Germany language in high school. so at least I can communicate easier in those countries. "vous n'etes pas d'ici, toi?" "non, Je suis Indonesien." "ah I see. your France not really bad. how could you learn?" "well, I learned France and Germany at the high school." "Je suis Norman, J'ai 56 ans." as I expected, he is 50's lol. "Je suis Richie, J'ai 19 ans. nice to know you Norman." "19?! what are you doing here in France?" I told him the story even in Venice. "hmm I see. so now you're looking for a job? err maybe I can get you a job, if you want." "really? where?" "I see you with your camera, I'm a photographer too. would you like to be my assistant? well the salary is not too much maybe. I sell my photos for the magazines here. you could learn some from me too." "c'est genial, Norman! of course I accept it!" "that's the spirit I want from a youngster like you, garcon. now let me see what you got."
-------I show him my photos from the airport and Venice, he's humming and shakes his head sometimes when he sees the pictures. "not bad, Richie. you have some guts. how long have you been in this photography thing?" "from high school, but not too often. maybe from college." "oh I see. but you know? don' be too proud. here in France, even some junior highschoolers can do better than that." I started to be provoked but I try to hold it. "now could you take the photo of the fountain? with macro, focus on the fountain, make it all blur." "but it's impossible, Norman. too big to be focused." "that's why I told you Junior highschool children are better than you." he started to make me mad. "fine, Norman. I'll try." I try my best shot, it's so hard to do it. and it takes 5 minutes and I show it to Norman. "here, Norman. take a look." "what is it? the trees are still there, they don't wanna be seen, you know." I try it again for many times. and he keeps harassing my pictures. "still not get better, GARCON." I'm pissed off. "well just show me if you can do it better, vieillard!" "I knew you'll say that, garcon." just in seconds, Norman set the camera, search-and-found the perfect angle, quickly set the zoom and the focus, and *click*. just like that. my mouth is sealed. I am fascinated at the moment. but I still deny it. "only just you do it quicker and just one shot doesn't mean the result is better than mine, let me see it!" when I get closer to him, he point his camera and show me. "here, young man. take a look." I continue my disbelief. the angle, the colour set, the focus, all in the picture..... it's amazing! more than that, it's perfect! "I give up, Norman." "hahaha. give up from what? now pack your things and go home. we'll start from the day after tomorrow."
-------I still don't believe what happened in front of my eyes. It seems impossible. but whatever, I'm lucky to learn something from him. what peeves me is he's such a bastard. I hope I can stand it during with him. so I'm walking back to the lodge myself. it takes about 30 minutes. I packed my camera and put it in the room and then smoke on the veranda of the lodge. "you look upset." I'm shocked, someone greets me with a smooth sound. a girl sound. and you won't believe me, it's the girl across my room. "wha? you shocked me!" "sorry, just trying to be friendly, I guess." "apology accepted. what are you doing? not going to sleep? it's late already." "nah. can't sleep. why don't you?" "just looking for fresh air." "fresh air? you're smoking dude, hahaha." "haha yeah, just daydreaming on the night, I guess." "Trixie." she introduce her name and we shake hands. "Richie." "wooo, rich people. scaaary." "naah, don't miscalled it." "just kidding, pal. so, what upsets you?" "a new term of study, you can say." "you're a student?" "nope, photography things." "nicee. you have to show me some pictures someday." "yeah I will. hey you can play guitar?" "yep, why?" "hold on a second." she takes her guitar from her room and told me to play. "here, Richie. sing me a song." do you know a band named The Script?" "are you kidding me? I love it!" "yeah, they're the best!" so, we sing The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script together. "you're the man who can't be moved, aren't you?" "haha, there was a time I was called like that. let's just sing one song and go to sleep and I'll tell you later, kay? choose a song, Trixie!" "To Be With You by Mr Big, Richie." just like that, after we sing the last part "just to be the next to be with you...." she kissed me, and all the memories I had with Nova, are recalled.